Things they should not but probably will do
by colorstain
Summary: a list of 30. things Tony and the avengers should not do then chapters of them doing just that.
1. Chapter 1

**Random one shot. Things Tony stark can't do by Pepper Potts Rules. Teehee and the avengers will break them together.**

**TONY: why are you making me do this?**

**ME: I feel like it**

**TONY: will Legolas do it to?**

**ME: Legolas?**

**TONY: Hawky**

**CLINT(in distance): Don't call me hawky**

**ME: you ALL will. And then maybe Pepper will wack you over the head with a book.**

**I don't own the avengers or Pepper.**

* * *

Pepper and Nick Fury got together to make a rule list for the Avengers. Things they can't do. Though they probably will.

THINGS THE AVENGERS AND TONY STARK CAN'T DO.

1. Can't have a Nerf war all across the stark tower or the Hellicarrier

2. Can't try to give Thor the talk

3. Can't set off a fake world epidemic by panicking and yelling Loki escaped Asgard punishment

4. For Halloween can't try to dress up as the Chituari.

5. Can't fake murder yourself to get out of meetings

6. Can't yell it's the bald pirate with one eye and run away when you see Fury.

7. You can't try to create a world epidemic by creating zombies

8. Then try to get rid of them

9. It just won't work so just don't try.

10. The world did not end on 2012

11. So you are not ghosts of who you are.

12. So don't go out to scare citizens by doing that.

13. No hacking into Fury's home computer you won't know what you'll find

14. Do not spread the rumor that Fury is in love with himself

15. He is definitely not and he probably has a wife

16. You do not have ADHD so don't bounce around saying that you are a demigod and your real names are (insert Percy Jackson names)

17. Fury is not out to get you

18. Okay well maybe he is out to get Tony but only because Tony annoys him

19. No he won't kill you

20. Whenever Fury says something to you don't mimic him

21. Or cuss at him after he says something

22. Or swear

23. Just listen okay

24. Bruce is not the Doctor so don't ask to see the Tardis

25. Neither is anyone else

26. Don't if you see spiderman call him the bug

27. Or any other random things. He is an arachnid and will attack you

29. Don't try to mimic Thor's voice

30. or anyone else

* * *

**This** **is only the first page next chapter will have Them break some rules.**

**TONY: what do you mean?**

**ME: you'll get slapped by Pepper.**

**TONY: WHAT?**

**ME: you heard me**

**NATASHA: SO...**

**TONY: hola Nat**

**NATASHA: tony don't call me Nat**

**TONY: fine**

**ME: BYE! please review **

**~Colorstain out**


	2. Can't have a nerf war across the Helli

**this is the new chappie yay. **

**ME: TONY!**

**TONY: WHAT?**

**ME: DO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**TONY: COLORSTAIN- wait why am I yelling?- does not own the avengers.**

**ME: THANK YOU!**

**anyway here is the chapter**

* * *

_Can't have a Nerf war across the Hellicarrier or Stark tower_

Tony and the Avengers stared at the list posted on their doors.

"Well," said Bruce, " I did not expect that."

"We have to break all of these rules," exclaimed Tony.

"I second that."

"me to."

"I'm in."

"Right," said Tony rubbing his hands together the first thing wee need is a ton of Nerf guns."

_after 15 minutes, now on hellicarrier_

"Is the com link secure?"

"Yes Tony what's the goal?"

"Okay so we are going to aim at certain people on this ship. The Pirate is worth 500 points and if you hit him you win. Agent Hill is worth 50 points, Agent Larris is worth 10 points, and so are the rest. On your suits I set up a device that connects to a main one, they keep track of your points. Don't end the game early and if you get caught DO NOT give away the game."

"Right."

"Ready steady go!"

Tony, Natasha, and Bruce were team. they stalked through the corridors watching and making sure they did not get caught.

"Kucka Kucka."

"What the heck was that Stark?"

"Uhh... that's my signal... yeah my signal that- Oh my gosh look it's Hill!" he whispered excitedly.

"No dip Sherlock."

"Aw you grew a backbone to back sass me," Tony said wiping a fake tear from his eye, "I am sooooo prooouuuud."

"Shut up Stark you'll give us away."

"Aw your no fun Nat."

"Do not call me Nat!" she hissed like a possessed cat.

"Shh." Natasha took careful aim and fired. It hit Agent Hill right in the forehead. Before she could notice them they crept away. Opening up the link for the other team Tony announced

"We got Hill."

_With the other team_

Steve, Thor, and Clint were a team. Since only Clint and Steve new how to use a gun they had to explain how to use a Nerf gun.

"Okay Thor so you press this button to shoot and you use this belt of bullets to reload like this," he explained going through the motions.

"Aright."

And they were off. But what they did not notice was that Fury was following them.

_1hour later_

"RUN."

"Why the heck should we do that?"

"We'll be caught by HIM other wise."

"Okay I get your point, RUN!" Tony saw Fury as he rounded the corner and he took aim and fired ten times in rapid succession. He then looked up to see Fury... well with lack of better words furious.

"Stark what the Hel-" but he was cut off by,

"Oh take that losers we won. Oh yeah I shot fury in the head 10 times," He did a weird jig then saw Fury's face and ran for his life. Fury just sighed.

"One of these days I'll get you back Stark you better watch yourself."

* * *

**that was fast...**

**ME: Well thanks for the reviews**

**Characters: Please review and stay tuned for next time Can't try to give Thor the talk.**

**TONY: Well that sounded like those really cheesy cartoon shows that say stay tuned for next time on...**

**ME: huh your right we need to work on that**

**Okay bye!**

**~Colorstain out**


	3. Can't try to give THor the talk

**this is the new chappie yay. **

**ME: TONY!**

**TONY: WHAT?**

**ME: DO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**TONY: Again?**

**ME:YES!**

**TONY:FINE! again why am I yelling?-she don't own us.**

**ME: THANK YOU!**

**anyway here is the chapter**

* * *

_Can't give Thor the talk_

Tony sauntered across the room to where Thor was situated.

"Thor?"

"Yes man of Iron."

"It is time."

"For what Earth man?"

"for the talk!"

"What is this talk you speak of?"

"Why Thor, don't you know about how babies are made?"

"NO?"

"Then I shall tell you dear Shakespeare, Babies are made when a male and a hot chic have love. People like to call it making love and since you have a pure mind I have yet to taint I shall tell you the one with not many details I'll leave that to Brucie!"

"Should I be listening to this?" Thor asked with a raised eyebrow. Just then Bruce walked in

"Tony are you trying to give Thor the talk?"

"Yes?"

"You better run then Fury looks really mad. I think he heard your whole conversation."

"AIIII!" Tony yelled running out the door rushing past Fury and the rest of the Avengers who looked at him curiously.

* * *

**that was fast...**

**ME: Well thanks for the reviews**

**Characters: Please review and stay tuned for next time.**

**TONY: Well that sounded like those really cheesy cartoon shows that say stay tuned for next time on...**

**ME: huh your right we need to work on that Also, that did sound rather short to me so I promise I will try to make the next Chappie longer!**

**Okay bye!**

**~Colorstain out**


	4. Loki did not escape!

**this is the new chappie yay. **

**ME: TONY!**

**TONY: WHAT?**

**ME: DO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**TONY: Again?**

**ME:YES!**

**TONY:FINE! again why am I yelling?-she don't own us.**

**ME: THANK YOU!**

**anyway here is the chapter**

* * *

_Can't say Loki escaped Asgard punishment and create a world epidemic._

"Tony are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No..."

"Then why are we going to do this?"

"It will be fun. Pllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee."

"Fine but if we get in trouble..."

"yes okay fine." Tony and Bruce finished their twenty minute long argument and burst through the doors of a meeting.

" Oi pirate Loki escaped Thor just contacted me."

"Stark this isn't just a prank is it?"

"NO why would I prank you with something like this?"

"Fine."

"Agents Barton and Romanov Come in."

"Sir?"

"Stark said Thor contacted him and said Loki escaped Asgard prison."

"Okay what should we do."

"Get the Quinjets ready we need to prepare for worst case." Fury turned around at the sound of laughter to see Tony laughing his head off and Bruce shaking his head.

"actually belay that."

"Sir."

"Stark just pranked us."

"Yes sir."

"Stark you get till three to run for your life." Fury growled out.

"EEEP." Tony ran out past confused SHEILD agents. "He's coming to get me the Fury is coming! call Hades and tell him he's missing Alecto!" Then he ran out screaming as Fury came out...

"SSSSTTTAAARRRRKKK..."

* * *

**that was fast...**

**ME: Well thanks for the reviews**

**Characters: Please review and... I honestly cannot think of anything.**

**TONY: Well at least it did not sound like those really cheesy cartoon shows that say stay tuned for next time on... like last time...**

**ME: huh your right we need to work on that Also, that did sound rather short to me so I promise I will try to make the next Chappie longer!**

**Okay bye!**

**~Colorstain out**


	5. Don't dress as Chituari for Halloween!

**HI here is the next chapter I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT**

* * *

**Don't dress up as Chituari for Halloween**

"Guys, the next thing on the list is not to dress up as Chituari for Halloween, so I made Chituari suits powered by the old lame thing called AA batteries!"

"Really? Why did we agree to this again?" said Natasha.

"Blackmail."

"ah." Tony then handed out synthetic realistic costumes That would make them look exactly like those other world creeps. Each of them pulled their suit on and powered up...

"Okay hears the plan, We just act like those aliens but don't destroy anything! Also their are animated effects that look real, things like explosions,."

That night the 'Chituari' Paraded around causing chaos to all. By the end of the night the SWAT, FBI, and CIA were out looking for the mysterious 'Chituari' that would not appear again... Needless to say that was a memorable night!

* * *

~colorstain


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